Whoever says living alone is cool... is crazy.
It's been 24+ hours since Justin left, and I've already found myself hanging upside down over the couch playing tic-tac-toe with myself.
Although I'll admit that i'm a fantastic tic-tac-toer... it doesn't beat spending a Monday evening eating jolly time smart pop on the couch with ma boo.
Justin, the hubster, left to Puerta Vallarta, Mehico yesterday morning. He will be receiving intensive treatment in a Lyme clinic for a little over a month through a tubey on his chest, and through other areas of his body that I won't expound on at this time... nor will I if you ask...
To say i'm nervous would be an understatement.
I'm mostly a wee bit lots excited to get this Lyme show on the road and on its way to "never come back land".
For some reason Lyme likes us, especially Justin, so its been a bit of challenge to part ways.
I've been a bit of a bum since he's left, and have already had to sing myself to sleep (with an air guitar solo), so I made a goal to be more chipper and joanna during this situation. I've started to do this by constructing a list of reasons as to why this experience will benefit both J and myself. Mostly myself...
A) I can now devour the corner spot on the couch (that usually has Justin's name on it) while watching the majority of all disney movies that have come out in the past 7 years. (I've known Justin for 7.3 years, so that explains the disney dry spell.)
2) I can now listen to Justin Bieber at any volume I prefer. I will also be able to enjoy the Biebs with out Justin's high pitched rendition of "that should be me..."
(I actually kinda like it when he does that...)
and D) Six words: Sleeping. Sideways. Starfish. Bekah. Is. Back.
All joking aside, even though those reasons were completely true and will be fulfilled regularly, I am grateful that Justin has chosen to do this courageous yet scary thing at this time of his life.
He's not one to complain or chat deeply about "stuff" that may be bothering him.
But when that "stuff" kills your kidneys, pancreas, your desire to live, and your ability to move or live any part of a somewhat normal life, you go to pretty drastic measures to try and fix the problem.
The problem being: Lyme disease (and other co-infections such as babesia, bartonella, mycoplasma, and almost everything else...)
This isn't our first go around experience with IV treatments. We are hoping and praying that it is our last.
So as I conquer the corner of the couch by sprawling out sideways in the shape of a starfish, while listening to the Biebs sing my way into watching a much needed animated flick, I will be praying.
I will be praying that Justin will have enough strength and faith to get through another long and grueling month of treatment. I will be praying that every cell in his body will sing like Celine when the chemo, antibiotics, ozone, stem celly's and other odd colored and hard to pronounce liquids enter his body and try to make happy with the uninvited strangers within.
I will also be praying that there will be plenty of juicy and entertaining spanish soaps that he can thoroughly enjoy while getting pumped full of "Happy Juice".
I will mostly be praying that Jesus will be with ma boo.
That he will be there to help him to be tough. Tough like a piece of licorice that has been sitting out on the countertop for too long, but you still eat it anyways.
I will be praying that he will be there to give him comfort. The kind of comfort that your toes feel when you put on a brand new pair of socks and don't even need to adjust that knotty sock seam.
I will be praying that he will be there to support him. That support you feel when your mom gives you a hug after a long day and let's you know that you're doing a good job.
I know that he will. I know that he will understand the pain and exhaustion that comes from a sour situation such as this for he has done it. He has done it all. Alone. And because of him, Justin does not have to.
I am grateful for him. I am grateful for Justin. I am grateful for solutions to problems even though they are sometimes messy, painful, and tiring.
So peeps, let's try and have a praying party together. Many of you have done a lot for Justin and I.
I'd ask you to stop but you're so good at it... so please pray. If you're not a praying person, feel free to send your happy vibes and warm and fuzzy creepy snuggle bear feelings our way.
(oh. You can also pray that i'll be able to fall asleep tonight without needing to sing a falsetto version of Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits album)
We appreciate you.
Rebekah also appreciates whole wheat carbs and cafe rio on her doorstep but thats completely beside the point.
Or is it....
Until next time...